


of all the moments we loved

by jjokkiri



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Fluff, How Do I Tag, M/M, Maybe This Is Romantic, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:27:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25741297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjokkiri/pseuds/jjokkiri
Summary: Seungyoun reflects on the past twenty years on the night before the biggest day of his life.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Han Seungwoo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36
Collections: Challenge #4 - Kiss Kiss Fall in Love





	of all the moments we loved

It all comes back to him when the cool water washes over his sandy, bare feet. It’s a reminder that is as gentle as the breeze that filters through his hair, soft enough to feel like a sweet kiss. 

Seungyoun takes a deep breath; refreshing and comfortable. He lets his thoughts take him. 

It’s all still a vivid memory in Seungyoun’s mind, the first time that he kissed Seungwoo. 

He remembers it clearly, as clear as the gentle wave washing over his footsteps in the sand in a blanket of crystalline shimmer. The first time he kissed Seungwoo, he wasn’t nearly as in love with him as he is now. In fact, at the moment they kissed for the first time, Seungyoun doesn’t recall being in love with him at all. 

The first time they kiss, they sit side by side on the rooftop of Seungwoo’s childhood home, pouring their hearts out under the star-speckled night sky. Seungwoo is nineteen and he looks at Seungyoun with concerned eyes; Seungyoun is seventeen and his eyes are puffy and red from shedding too many tears. He isn’t looking at Seungwoo because he can’t. It doesn’t feel romantic because, even under the starlit sky, it isn’t. 

The first time they kiss, it looks like this: Seungyoun is nursing a broken heart and he is groping blindly in the dark for a hand that feels like comfort. Seungwoo comes to him like a ray of warmth. Seungwoo feels like comfort. Seungwoo is warm, gentle and kind; Seungwoo feels like the comfort he seeks when he stumbles in the dark over his thoughts. He feels like everything Seungyoun is looking for in the cloudy moment before their lips meet. 

And he remembers the way his heart stuttered when he kissed his best friend for the first time, but it wasn’t the flutter of falling in love. It was the stutter of shock that he ignored when the hot tears started to stream down his cheeks again, and Seungwoo gently cupped his face. It was the stutter of shock that came rushing back to him when he pulled away, frantically apologizing through incoherent blabbering because he couldn’t find the right words to say, _‘Hyung, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing. You don’t need to comfort me like this. You don’t love me like that.’_

There is a blip in his memory where he is supposed to remember the way that Seungwoo looked at him under the starlight, as he cried. He doesn’t remember the way Seungwoo looked when he whispered out an apology for kissing him. He only remembers the way Seungwoo gently wiped his tears with his thumb and let Seungyoun rest against his shoulder, crying past midnight. 

The realization that Seungwoo was nursing his own broken heart when he left the city after his graduation, Seungyoun recalls, came to him like a sudden crashing wave—almost fatal. It was a thunderous realization that Seungwoo’s kiss meant more to _him_ than it could ever mean to Seungyoun. 

It wasn’t like the tiny ebb and flow of the tide moving towards the shoreline, washing over his feet. 

Seungyoun doesn’t hear the sound of footsteps in the sand approaching him over the sound of the waves kissing the shore, but he doesn’t startle when Seungwoo wraps his arms around him. He knows that they’re all alone on this side of the beach. And in the same way that Seungwoo’s rooftop felt like a secret place for best friends when they were young and naive, this feels like a secret place just for them. _As lovers._

“Oh, there you are.” Seungwoo still feels warm and comforting when his arms wrap around Seungyoun’s waist from behind. He pulls him closer and rests his chin on his shoulder. “I was looking for you.” 

Seungyoun relaxes in his arms and grins. He looks over his shoulder at Seungwoo. 

Seungwoo’s chin is perched on his shoulder, close enough for Seungyoun to count his pretty lashes. He looks adorable and Seungyoun feels his chest warming with fondness. _This_ feels romantic. 

“Did you think I was going to run off?” he asks. He’s teasing. Seungwoo laughs. 

He nudges Seungyoun, and he kisses his cheek softly when Seungyoun turns his head to laugh. His eyes are so filled with affection that Seungyoun almost feels shy when he looks into his eyes. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” Seungwoo replies. “I know you wouldn’t. You’re stuck with me.” 

Seungyoun laughs. 

“I’ve been stuck with you for twenty years, hyung. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Seungwoo smiles—it’s the soft, knowing smile that Seungyoun learned to trust with his life. Seungwoo raises a hand and brushes Seungyoun’s fringe out of his eyes. 

“What are you thinking about out here?” 

Seungyoun shrugs. 

“I’m thinking about how things have changed so much in just seven years,” he says. His eyes twinkle playfully, “And how I’ll be stuck with you for the rest of my life after tomorrow.” 

“It’s hard to believe, isn’t it?” Seungwoo whispers. “Seven years ago, you wouldn’t have even batted an eyelash if I told you that I was in love with you and that I’d been in love with you for years.” He reaches to lace their fingers together, “And, here you are, getting married to me tomorrow.” 

“It took me long enough to realize that I was in love with you, hm?” 

Seungwoo laughs. There’s a fondness in his laughter than can’t be masked. It warms Seungyoun’s heart. 

“It doesn’t matter. You’re mine now, and I’m not letting you go.” 

Seungyoun turns around in Seungwoo’s arms and smiles up at him. 

“I’m not going anywhere but straight to bed with you,” he says. “We have a big day ahead of us.” 

And when Seungwoo smiles at him and knocks their foreheads together, Seungyoun is reminded that falling in love with Seungwoo isn’t something he needs to recall. It’s something that happens whenever he looks at him and when his heart stutters, it’s because of love. 


End file.
